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| Yay! Welcome to the USA, bubby! |
When we got off the elevator at Bluegrass Airport, I was completely moved to see all of the smiling faces, banners, balloons, signs, and tears. We were home. Everyone spoke fluent English and I didn't have to struggle for basic understanding. I got to hug my friends and family tighter than ever. I never knew how much I loved them until I missed them like I did those 2 weeks.
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| Welcome to Kentucky! |
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| Our welcoming committee! I can't tell you how much I love these people! |
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| He loved the balloons! |
Then we came home. I forgot how much I loved how beautiful Kentucky is in the fall. The scent of our home was refreshing! The feel of my own bedsheets was comforting. I was finally able to brush my teeth with clear, safe tap water instead of bottled water. I had way more than 300 sq. feet to run around. I was back in my comfort zone. With my perfect new little family.
Then, it happened.
I realized I was home and it was very different.
And Liam realized he was somewhere else. Very, very different.
He screamed for days. The shrill of his cry made me cringe and I wanted to just run away. Far, far away. He became the Houdini of escaping the playpen that he was so accustomed to sleeping in. After 3 visits to Lowes, Joe finally came up with some fabulous redneck contraption to raise the side rails while keeping him safe and in one place for the night.
He quit eating and drinking. For 3 days. Yup. I freaked out. He wouldn't eat or drink the foods he ate in China nor would he drink from the sippy cup or bottles he easily used since we met him. 3 sippy cups later, we finally found one that he can use and drink out of easily due to his unrepaired cleft palate. Poor kid. I really think he was struggling all along to just get fluid out of what we were giving him. Sheesh, who knew??!
Then, something else happened. He started to sleep. All the way through the night, just like he did those last few days in China. Then, he started to eat. And that new "big boy" sippy cup allows him to chug his drinks faster than any fraternity boy I've ever met. Sleep + Food = A Happier Boy. Thank you, Jesus.
Just when I thought it was safe to exhale, the girls started freaking out. Poor Audrey especially has had a hard time adjusting to life, jet lag, going back to school etc. She's hot mess and has literally worried herself sick to the point of vomiting almost every night this week. *sigh* Poor Maddie, on the other hand, is just emotional, irrational and tearing up at the smallest thing. My heart aches for them because I want to help them or fix it and make it all better. But I can't. Shoot, I'm sick to my stomach and teary-eyed most of the time, too. Let's face it, big change is hard and we're all just dealing with it as best as we can. At least we have each other, and that's what we are clinging to for dear life. I'm trying to spend more time with them, to give them some much-needed 1:1 mommy-daughter time to reassure them that I'll always be crazy for them! This WILL get better, I know. It's just that when you're in the midst of it, it just feels like forever.
Then, I decided that this week was when I really needed to start and ease back into work. Oy! Please bear with me, people. I'm still trying to figure out when I can fit all that I did into a 24 hour day.
Joe goes back to work tomorrow for a 24-hour shift at the fire department. This is the beginning of my new regular role as "single mom of 3 kids". Am I nervous? Yes. Will I make it? Absolutely. Do I have a choice?
We've visited 2 doctors this week already: the general pediatrician and the ENT. The ENT confirmed that both of his eardrums are severely perforated probably due to chronic infections. Then, we had a basic hearing test done by an audiologist which was sort of inconclusive due to the fact that Liam became distracted by a sudden desperate need for animal crackers. However, they have confirmed that he does have hearing loss, which is to be expected. They will have to do a sedated ABR when he has his cleft surgery to determine how severe the loss is, what kind of hearing loss it is, and the course of treament.
So, there you have it. Week #1. But I will tell you this: I love how cute he is when I wrap him up in his towel after bath. I love the smell of baby lotion on his freshly bathed skin. I love how he prefers to reach for me over most people and will hold on tightly around my neck. I love how he rubs my arm so gently when he's trying to get to sleep. I love how he's trying so hard to learn sign language to communicate with us. I love his sweet little toothy smile when he's proudly put food on his spoon and managed to make it all into his mouth. I love how he hysterically giggles outloud when I make up funny songs and bounce him on my hip.
I'm still trying to wrap my heart and my head all around this mess. For now, I'm just taking it day by day. And praying lots.
For now, I'll leave ya with a few pictures of the kiddos playing in the backyard enjoying a beautiful fall day.
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| Playing in the leaves |
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| Checking out the playset in the backyard |
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