The 6th Chair

 

Well, if you're reading this post, it either means A)  you care or B)  you're just plain nosey.   Although I'm out-of-my-mind thrilled as I write this, be forewarned that if you're not exactly in agreement or overjoyed by our exciting announcement, this post may just outright tick you off or make you scratch your head in utter confusion. Hopefully you'll find it as wonderful as we do!

So, my story starts like this:  

Once upon a time, we adopted a little boy from China.  (see all of the previous posts on my blog for the awesomeness of that story).   Then, after we got home, we  made some major heart-wrenching, difficult, and often ugly transitions in our home.  We transitioned  to our new "normal" as we settled in as a family of 5.   Often I'd still look on advocating websites and follow the progress of many other orphans still left behind in China.  I'd pray over them and support fellow adoptive families, but there was NO WAY that we'd ever go back to China.  Never.  Ever.  Nope.  Not me. 

Then, one day at the dinner table, my innocent,  big-hearted Audrey  said, "Why do we have 6 chairs at the table when there's only 5 of us?  Can we adopt another child?"    And I responded rather defensively, "Well, that's the way the set came at the furniture store, silly!"   And that was that.

Liam's Referral Photo

Liam- Then and Now

Since that day at the dinner table, the Lord has moved in our hearts.  Liam came to us very sickly and weak.  We have watched him transform into a handsome, healthy, giggly little boy who loves fish sticks, monster trucks,  music, and choo-choo trains.  It's incredible- the way you feel when you SEE before your own eyes what progress we've made!

  We have prayed and prayed and prayed.  We have met with our pastor, sought Godly advice, fasted and prayed some more.   We have laughed, cried, freaked out and stressed over referrals  we never asked for, but received.  We even had to turn down a few as they were not a good match for our family.   We have sat up to all hours of the night doing research on certain medical conditions.  We have made a verywell-thought-out heart-felt decision:  We are going back to China!

Wanna know all about it?   Of course you do!  I'll get to that here in a little bit.     But first,   you must hear my rant.   Because quite frankly, after comments and experiences from the last adoption, I have absolutely NO filter.  None whatsoever.     So, I thought now would be a fabulous time to address all of the morons negative folks and  nay-sayers from the past, present and future.

Misunderstanding #1:   "Oh my gosh!  Did you hear that the Rice's are adopting ANOTHER kid?  Are they crazy?"       
My response:    Truth be told, we are no crazier than you are.  It's funny, once you adopt a second child from another country, people start to think you've joined some crazy cult.  Um....no.      How many children we chose to bring into our home is our business and quite frankly, nobody's opinion matters.  We are a family that seeks approval from God, not people.

Misunderstanding #2:  "Why on earth do they want more kids?  Don't they have enough??  Geeeeez!"
My response:    We have been blessed with other (biological and adopted) children.  You see, we have been CALLED to adopt!   And responding to the call on our lives is being obedient.   Adoption isn't easy.  Adoption isn't convenient.  And sometimes, it appears outright CRAZY to those people on the outside looking in.     Do you believe that kids who don't have parents should have a forever family?  If so, who should step up and take this role?  What are YOU doing about it?

Misunderstanding #3  "They keep saying they're "called" to adopt.  What kind of religious mumbo-jumbo is that?"
My response:   Our family are open Jesus followers.   The Lord Himself commanded us to take care of widows and orphans. That is what we're doing.     Simple as that.   We are walking in obedience.  In turn, a child is blessed with a family, and we are blessed immensely as well!    Now, if you're not a Christ-follower and you don't either WANT to understand this "calling" stuff or chose to ignore it, you're never gonna "get it".  Absolutely nothing I'm saying is going to make sense to you.

Misunderstanding #4:   "Those people who adopt from overseas must be filthy rich!  How do they afford it???!"
 My response:  "  God calls the WILLING, not the wealthy.    We're not filthy rich nor are MOST of the families that do chose to adopt.   We've learned first hand how God provides those needs one day at a time.   If you are called to adoption, all you need is a big heart, and open home, and the ability to hand the control over to the Lord.  He'll handle the finances, no matter how small your bank account is.  Pinky-promise!  (yes, I know it sounds crazy and scary...but it's true!  Just watch Him go!)

Misunderstanding #5:   "Why are they adopting from China when kids right here in America need homes, too?"
My response:   Can't we all just agree that  an orphan is an orphan no matter where they live and then agree that ALL of them need homes!??!   I'm so sick of this "debate".   If you feel strongly that Americans should adopt other Americans, take a look in the mirror, what are YOU doing about it?   If you are passionate about domestic adoption, perhaps you should consider it for yourself.  Domestic adoption is beautiful and I have several wonderful friends who have done it and I'd be happy to get you in touch with them!    We have simply been called elsewhere, and that is that.  I didn't understand WHY we were led to China until we physically lived there for 2 weeks a couple of years ago.  

Misunderstanding #6:  "Oh, no...does this mean that they're gonna be begging for money again?"
My response:   Begging?  No.  Fundraising?  Yes.   You see,  MANY families raise money to adopt through fundraisers and generous tax-deductible giving.   They rely on folks to open their hearts and purse strings to make a difference in the life of a child.    I'm not one that likes to have my hand out (really.....I loathe it!)  Quite frankly, I'm just now getting over how ticked off I was at certain family members, neighbors, friends, the church etc. who blatantly ignored us or  closed doors in our faces when we asked for help.  I'm not sure how many friends I'll have after this is all said and done, but at this point, I really don't care.  Enough is enough.  We realize that it took a village to bring Liam home and just LOOK at him!!   Proof that lives will be changed by simple giving!     If you can't adopt, at least be an adoptive supporter.  Maybe you're not able to do so financially- and THAT'S OK!     We could still use an encouraging word, lots of prayers and hug along the way   Remember...we're not asking you to RAISE our new child, just simply help get her here!   

I'm tired of adoptive families having to defend their decisions.  As if the adoption process itself isn't stressful enough, adoptive families often have to sort thru the trash coming from cross-minded,  doubtful, selfish, opinionated bystanders.   Can't everyone just be genuinely happy for these families and gather around them to encourage them, pray for them and  support them?   Wishful thinking, I know.  I'm a firm believer that we CAN, in fact, change the world one life at a time.   I guess there will always be miserable, gossipy people no matter what you do, even when you are doing the right thing for your family and an abandoned child.  

Ok, now on to the super duper FUN stuff!!  Ready to know all the details?    Well....here you go!

We have been pre-approved to adopt Yin Chan, a sweet 5 year old little girl who lives in Henan Province, China - the same province that her brother is from.   She has a very minor hearing loss as a special need.   Ready to see those sweet, pinch-able cheeks? 


Our new daughter, Yin Chan (which means respectful & beautiful!)

Other than that, she's beautiful, healthy, and absolutely precious!    She was found at the door of the orphanage when she was just 2 years old.   My heart can't help but wonder what her story is.    Her caregivers describe her as "extremely gentle, obedient, cheerful and charming".   Her birthday is December 1, 2008 and we hope to have her home before her 6th birthday.  Her daddy, big sisters and little brother are BEYOND excited!  I'm at peace with it.  Maybe it's because we've already done this before and it seems like second nature.  Maybe it's all that praying I've been doing.   Perhaps it's because we're starting off with everything NEW this time...a new adoption agency, a new home study team, a fantastic new supportive church family...I don't know.  It's just different and wonderful, and I'm LOVING it!      We are choosing to surround ourselves with positive, supportive friends this time.  So, if you're not shooting sunshine out of your dark spots by now, please don't make me slap you upside the head and write you off.   We're thrilled to share this journey with you!

Now, look at all that hair she has!!  Eventually, I have a feeling we'll have her grow out the "Dora the Explorer" hair-do.    Time for this momma to start stocking up on glittery shoes, frilly tutus, polka dots, and hair bows!       More to come...stay tuned!   The adventure is just getting started!