Gotcha Day!

Truly, a picture is worth a thousand words.....

"Meeting" her siblings and grandma for the first time via Facetime!

 

 

The Land Of Emmajane

Well, we are here!   In about 14 hours our lives will change forever!

The flight to Beijing went smoothly and I actually got to catch some zz's and a movie.   The hotel was  really nice- and OH MAN, the dumplings I had for dinner were to die for!    

The next morning we gathered for a nice breakfast and head on to Zhengzhou (Henan Province) where our daughter lives.    Now...many of you know how anxious I was to a)  Leave the kids behind and b) go back to China due to our um...not so fabulous experience last time.    A few things I've noted already:

1)  An (awesome) travel group makes a world of difference.  I've been surrounded by other fabulous Americans who understand this journey and SPEAK ENGLISH!   Thank you, Jesus.

2)   I heart Facetime.    To "see" the faces of  my babies all the way across the world has made life so much better.  My manager of tech support (Joe) knows that his passport gets thrown away and his tushie left in China if he doesn't keep wi-fi and our VPN up and running.    Just kidding!   Well...kinda sorta....

3)   Our agency ROCKS!   Completely different experience from last time.  The guides are thorough, we don't have to worry about a thing and the hotel isn't disgusting like the last one we stayed at in Zhengzhou.  We are understood! No having to play charades to get more toilet paper delivered to the room.  (stop and picture that in your head for a minute....charades....for toilet paper....yes,  it's been done and it certainly wasn't pretty...)

4)   Ah, China.  Last time I was terrified of you. This time, every bit of it has actually felt familiar and comforting in a weird kind of way.

 I think this is what peace feels like.

Thanks to all of you for all the prayers across the ocean!   Without a doubt, we feel them!   Around 10am Monday morning (around 10pm Sunday night in the USA)  think of us over here as we meet our girl for the very first time.     I'll try to post pics as soon as I can.

In the meantime, enjoy some pics of our adventures thus far:





Maddie, Audrey and Liam will get a kick out of this- "The Happy Goat"- long story.... 

Our Room

Yes, it's time!  

Travel Approval!!

I went to the grocery store yesterday and literally stood in the dairy section paralyzed with big deer-in-headlight eyes for what felt like forever.   You know the date is fast approaching when it's the same expiration date on your milk jug.

We leave for China on Friday Oct. 10th, meet Emmajane on Monday, Oct 13th (the evening of Sun. Oct 12th here in the USA), and we arrive home in Lexington at 9pm on Friday, Oct. 24th.!  In just 2 weeks from tonight, we will finally have our Emmajane in our arms!

Visas have been obtained  and all plane tickets have been reserved and e-tickets printed out.    Every little detail of our in-country travel plans have been beautifully arranged by our incredible agency.  Suitcases are filling up fast and my last minute  "to-do" list has become longer each day.  Business calendar is completely full until early December and (mostly) prepared for.  I have a 4-page, typed schedule ready to print for the kids and Grandma.  The pantry is stocked and 12 freezer meals prepared and put away.  All bills have been scheduled for auto pay and I've even got a head start on a bit of Christmas shopping.   You'd think I'd be on cloud 9 joyfully skipping around the house singing that darn "Happy" song  by Pharell because the big trip we've waited for is finally here!!!!

Right?!?!   Wrong.


I find myself sobbing every day.   Uncontrollably.   And it all started when it finally hit home that I won't be here in 2 weeks to tuck my other 3 babies in bed.    You see, it's just Joe and I traveling this time while Grandma bravely holds down the fort with the circus we've left behind.   They are in wonderful hands and I have absolutely no worries about their safety or well-being while I'm gone.    Yes, I realize that time will go by fast and everyone will "do just fine" and we'll be reunited again soon- yadda, yadda,  yadda.   However, what most people don't know is that having the girls there WITH me last time is what literally gave me the most comfort during the midst of a stressful, big transition.  And if I'm going to be brutally honest with you,  Audrey is so attached that she'd crawl back into my uterus if she could.   This is not going to be easy for us, and I absolutely DREAD saying "see you soon" when we leave for the airport.  Oh, geez, here come the tears....again.....


At the same time, I weep for Emmajane.  I can't imagine the emotions she's going through and will soon experience when she is thrown into the arms of complete strangers who look different, smell different, and talk different.    She was abandoned at age 2 - left at the door of the orphanage wearing a little yellow raincoat.    She has lived with a foster care family for as long as we have known.  Therefore, she'll be experiencing the loss of not just one, but TWO families in her life and the loss of living in a culture that is all she's known.   How can I let her know that WE are truly her forever and ever family?  That we won't abandon her?   That comes in time....I know....    This time, I cry for HER.   For all she has gone through.  For all the messy stuff that she will learn to overcome.   You see, the journey isn't over once we get her home on American soil- it's truly just beginning and it's HARD!    (yet so rewarding!)

But alas!    I do the happy dance as I picture coming off that escalator at Bluegrass Airport with friends and family gathered there to welcome us home!      My heart smiles when I think of all the new experiences she'll have:  a shabby chic 4-poster bed of her own,  a sugar rush of candy at trick-or-treat, clean air to breathe while she plays on the swing set in the backyard with her siblings, going to church and learning how to pray,  big fluffy hair bows and twirling in fancy dresses and cowboy boots, blowing out the candles on her cake for her 6th birthday (Dec. 1st), glittery manis and pedis, her first Christmas and all of the family traditions that go along with it...I can go on and on!    SO much super cool exciting stuff to look forward to!   Stuff that makes my heart race and squeal wth joy!  I've always joked that if you aren't bi-polar before you start this process, you surely will be by the end! 

Bear with me over the next VERY emotional month ahead and stay tuned...I will be posting updates from China as often as I can.   Please pray for our family as you think about it while go through your busy days.    Let's get this sweet pea HOME!

Uncertain Times

So many questions.  So few answers.

Almost every day, someone asks us, "When are you leaving for China?"     Months ago, I'd say hopefully sometime this fall.   About 2 weeks ago, I'd say October 10th.  Now that my immigration officer dragged her feet and waited an extra day to mail out Emmajane's visa application,  it's cost us another week in the waiting.  Who knew an extra day could cause such a huge delay?   (she's TOTALLY off my Christmas card list!)  On top of that, this is the time of year that China closes.  Yes, the entire country closes due to a holiday in early October which knocks out about 2 more weeks of potential travel dates.      So, now ask me when we'll travel.   *sigh*

I've also heard a hundred times "It's all God's perfect timing"...."it happens for a reason"..."she'll be here before you know it"...yadda, yadda , yadda.   Although I agree with all of that, I've never been a patient waiter and it's especially hard to wait because of this:

She KNOWS specifically that WE are coming!   These pictures made my heart leap for joy and sadness at the same time. Remember when you were a little kid and the summer seemed to last an eternity?  Imagine knowing that you have a new mommy and daddy from America who are coming to get you...yet every day just drags on.

Then there are days when I'm actually fearful of getting on that plane to go get her.   Let's face it, anyone who knows our story will tell you that our journey to Liam was hard, but after we met him it was even harder.  Like, WAY harder.  He's been home almost 2 years and I think he and I are just now  starting to really, really like each other.  When we first came home, he didn't come to me for comfort.  After he had his most recent surgery last month, he couldn't get enough of Mama.

The more I talk to other adoptive families,  the more that I'm understanding how common this really is.  It's one of those "no-no's" that a lot of folks are ashamed of or embarrassed to talk about.   Truth be told, adoption and bonding isn't always natural or easy.   It's flat out hard, and if I'm going to be really truthful, I'm bracing myself for another not-so-fun time.   God didn't say it was gonna be easy, He just said we wouldn't be alone.

Then there's that one thing that brings me to tears every time:  the thought of leaving "my baby" and "my bean".       We aren't able to travel with our other kiddos this time due to the sheer cost of plane tickets, thus they'll be home with Grandma for the 2 weeks we are on the other side of the world.  I've heard a hundred more times "They'll be just fine" ,  "It will go by so fast!", "It's better that they're not there because xyz..."   Some of those things I agree with.  However, let's go back to our last visit to China...not so good.    Those girls were the air I breathed.  They were nothing but comfort to me. When everything was weird, sad, smelly and plain-old stressful, their hugs gave me strength and the scent of their hair brought me comfort. Holding their little hands gave me an odd sense of peace and encouragement.   That's something that Facetime  simply can't do.  How am I going to let go on the day I hug these goobers goodbye?

Of course, there's always times I think of Emmajane.  What is her story and how much of it will she remember?   She was abandoned at age 2....a little sweet pea dropped off at the doors of an orphanage wearing a yellow raincoat.   Why?   What happened?  She'll be turning age 6 in December...why did she have to wait so long for a family?   These are things we may never, ever know.

So in the midst of so much uncertainty, there are a few things I do know for sure.

* She's meant to be ours.   From the very start, she was born to be a cherished part of the Rice circus!
* Worrying about all of the details is completely pointless. It takes the joy out of the journey and never changes the outcome.  Like, ever.
*   My house is the most organized it's ever been.  One word:  Nesting.
*   God's hand has been in the middle of this from the beginning.   I am humbled and in awe of His faithful provision!
*   I need a nap and should do so while I still have the chance!

The Third Trimester

As much as I want to be witty as I begin to update ya on our adoption news, I honestly am in shock and disbelief accompanied by writers-block.    We are going to China......like SOOOON!   Where did the time go?  Thrilled that we've made it to the third trimester - yet scared out of minds as we add another addition to the family dynamics.   Even though it's SUPER wonderful, it was really, really hard last time and we're hunkering down praying for the best but preparing for the worst.  We are praising The Lord with arms raised high for a generous grant we received and many friends who have given and at the same time pacing back and forth waiting for 3 other grants to give us their letter of decision.  Have I mentioned that I'm not a patient waiter??

On Monday,  July 28th (on day #67.7) we finally received the document that I lovingly call "The Precious".   Our Letter of Approval!   This is where China agreed for us to specifically adopt Zhou Yin Chan.   Here she is:

In order to keep my mind off the dreadful wait for that stinkin' letter, we spent the summer letting my OCD go into over-drive organizing the house, working some overtime, splashing in the kiddie pool, sleeping in past 9am as often as possible and even  just a few days away in the Smoky Mountains.

I even decided to can and/or freeze as much summer garden veggies I could.  Freezers are stocked full and pantry looks like we're preparing for Armageddon or something.   Maybe it's just a deep psychological realization that with FOUR kids, I may never ever be able to do "extras" like that again.  Or shower. Or breathe.

Another thing I've realized is that my filter is officially broken. I'm not sure if it's just stress, my age, or that the 2nd adoption has thickened my skin, but I noticed that most everything that goes into my mind these days comes out of my mouth.   Not usually a good thing.   *sigh*

On another note, the girls started back to school a couple of days ago.

Liam is starting to recover from yet another surgery..

And even little Emmajane has her own backpack packed and ready for kindergarten!

So, the big question we get asked all the time:  When will you be leaving to get her?    Well, we don't know when we'll be traveling to China just yet.   It all depends on how fast some of these forms move along.  It could be as early as September (OMG, that's NEXT month people!!!!!) or October at the latest.  With some big holidays coming up in China, I'm pretty certain that it will be October.  The days just go so doggone fast that we'll be boarding that plane before we know it!    And all I can do is squeal in delight and then stand in place paralyzed with that deer-in-headlights-look.    Again, bear with me, people.  The shock is likely to get worse before it gets better.

I want to thank ALL of you for supporting us thus far!    Whether you've been praying for us, donating time or money toward the cause, hugging on us, showing up for fundraisers and 5ks or delivering chocolate in times of need, know that we love each of you and are forever grateful!

Be on the lookout and stay tuned - our final update on Emmajane should be here soon!    

The "To-Do List" as we wait...and wait...and wait...

Ah, summertime!  How I love you!  I love sleeping in late with the kids, staying up at night watching them catch fire flies!   I love the smell of grilled burgers and the giggles that come from the kids splashing in the kiddie pool.   I LOVE flip flops and fresh garden veggies.   YESSS!   Summer is my friend!

You'd think we'd be relaxing after we spent the entire spring paper chasing:

Relaxing?  Umm....not so much.

We are in the midst of the LONG and unpredictable wait for our letter of approval (LOA).  I admit it.  THIS is when I officially become a psychotic stalker.   I check "statistics" on other adoption websites and Facebook groups of the current waiting timeframes. I obsessively check the "My Adoption" page on our agency's website to see if there's even been a teeny-tiny change.  I stare at the phone and muster up all sorts of unimaginable self-control to NOT call the agency and check in.   Daily.

I read other adoptive family's blogs, message others who are waiting, and sob uncontrollably at the videos and pictures of those who are there already across the world meeting their child for the first time.  I dream of the welcome home party and when we come down off that escalator at the airport with a little girl in our arms.  Ahhhh...can't you picture it??  

So..... about that Letter of Approval that we need so desperately:  There's NO rhyme or reason on when this little precious nugget will arrive.  No scientific method on what they do over there to approve it and it's completely out of my control.   Yet still, I find that this is exactly how I drain my mental energy each day.   This Type-A planning girl will be likely to spend a week in a nice, comfy padded cell somewhere if things don't line up.

Other than upping my anxiety meds, I thought it would be healthier and more enjoyable to all those around me to STOP!  PRAY!  LET IT GO!  AND....somehow enjoy the excruciating  painful wait.

So, what's a girl do?  
 
*Standing back-to-back with Maddie as she seems to grow an inch each week.  Then she brags that she's taller than me and runs off wearing a pair of my favorite shoes.   Ugh.   Not fair, my dear teenager. Not fair.

*Plant our little garden and taking time to actually remember to weed and water it. Last year it.....well...it died.  Like all of it.    

*Rubbing Audrey's soft little arm until she turns to mush  (she begs me to do it everyday and I sadly never do it long enough).  And BOY let me tell you....just the  mere thought of not having the kids with me in China for TWO solid weeks brings me to tears.  Yes, it will go fast, and YES, they'll be fine, and YES we can Facetime.....yadda, yadda, yadda.  If you read one of my prior blogs with Liam, I was very clear and I quote myself saying, "having the girls here with me was wonderful- they are the air I breathe".   Um... serious attachment issues.    See, there I go again. Tearing up over the thought of saying good-bye to them.   Lots of prayers, friends.   We need them as God prepares our hearts!

* Freezer Meal Workshops with my Pampered Chef  business.  As my life gets crazier, I know I sure could use easy dinnertime solutions and I'm pretty confident that others can, too.  It's been a great distraction as we "wait".    I'm TOTALLY digging these workshops!    Each of you reading this needs to participate in one.  You come to my house, bring the groceries, you bag them up based on the "recipes" using the pantry items you've already pre-paid for, and then VOILA!   You'll walk out the door with TEN dinners done!   No clean up, just 10 dinners ready to get cozy in your freezer.  The best part - it's TOALLY affordable!  The one that I'm doing this month is $2.91 per person per meal for our later family of 5 - and it only takes 15-30 min max to whip them up!   Can you say FABULOUS??     See, that got my mind off the wait for almost 5 minutes while I typed that. Whew, that felt nice.

*Organizing!  Everything! De-cluttering and purging!    Most everything!   If it's not nailed down to the floor, it's probably not safe... No trash bag will be empty around here and our garbage men will soon dread visiting us.  With soon to be 4 - did you read that????!!!    With  FOUR!!!!!!- kids running around my house, there has GOT to be no clutter and everything must be in it's place (especially for busy school mornings trying to get all of them out of the house with matching shoes, hairbows, and lunches packed...  oiy!! )  Oh my gosh.   Four.

*Sharing a pint of Ben and Jerry's more often with my hormonal teenage daughter.  She needs mother/daughter time.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

*Making "me" time a priority for once in a LONG while and especially focusing on getting healthy and losing all the weight I've gained over the past stressful year.  Guess I shouldn't load up on that Ben and Jerry's ice cream after all, 'huh?   Boo.  

*Taking the kids out for 1:1 mommy time as often as possible. It may be just a trip to Kroger together, but it's alone time when they have my full attention.  And I'll be sure to sing 80's music as loudly as I can with the car windows open at each stop sign in our small town as the girls hunker down praying that nobody they know sees them.  It's my favorite mommy game to play.  

*Ticking Liam more often.  His little laugh is contagious and makes me smile every time!

*Going on date nights with my hubby, even if it just involves ordering a pizza and renting a Redbox movie after the kids go to bed!   When this little girl gets home, it will upset our apple cart again just like it did when Liam arrived into the family "routine".     We are trying to get in some good "together time" before our lives are turned upside down once again.

*I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually going to do some canning and freezing this summer.  It's a pain in the grits, but we sure enjoy the results over the winter.  Love me some homemade pasta sauce and canned green beans!

*FUNDRAISING!   (I know, I know...you're totally shocked!)  We have to raise another $11,000.  Like within the next 2 months.  NO stress or anything.     I have been assured over and over the the Lord is ABLE to provide all that we need and MORE!   We are standing firm on that promise as we remain faithful, prayerful, obedient and trudge on!  God brought us to this, surely He will bring us though it!  

*Getting a head start on Halloween costumes and Christmas shopping.   I have to.  Don't judge.

*Setting up a daily chore list for the kids...all 4 of them.  This OCD momma is gonna need some serious help around the house more than ever!

*Unsubscribing to all unnecessary marketing emails.   Every time the computer "bings" at me with a new email, I have a mini-panic attack inside that it may be some important message from our adoption agency.   So, my thought is:   Less emails = less heart attacks. Problem solved.

Oh, and I can't forget....we've started working on Emmajane's sweet little bedroom.   Wanna see a quick peek? 

Many of you have asked when we are going.  The simple answer is:  We don't know.  It all depends on when that crazy important LOA (letter of approval) arrives.   We could travel as early as September and as late as November.  Who knows.  This is the stuff that drives me crazy!    Off to take a deep breath and chip away at that "to-do" list.....

Miracles and Lots of Progress Forward ~

Confession:   About 2 months ago, I wanted to quit.  I have doubted that this is what we are supposed to do.

I worried myself sick.  I cried.  I prayed.  I questioned if this "calling" was from God  or not.      I wondered how on earth we could afford all of the fees and costs coming up.   I worked hard.  Really  hard.  Joe worked hard.  More than normal.    I wanted to just throw in the towel not wanting to put our family in debt or cause any financial hardship.  We applied for multiple grants.  Started getting some fundraisers together all while attempting to keep our sanity.  I'd lay in bed for hours just freaking out.  

I prayed even more.  Even shook my fist at God and pleaded for an answer.  I was desperate and had to know NOW! 

Then, something strange happened.  Something that I couldn't  have ever seen coming.

Let's back up for a moment first:   As some of you may know,  we had something really horrible happen to us a month after Liam came home.    A crazed drunk guy barged into our home on a Sunday morning.  It was the scariest morning of my life, and the only time I've ever called 911 begging for help.  Joe came out with just a few stitches on his hand and the girls were traumatized.  I was confident that nothing good could come out of it - except for the fact that we were all still alive knowing that the situation could have turned out very differently. 

Here we are now, a year and a half later.  In His perfect timing, this month all of the legal drama came to an end.   We were blessed with a resolution that helps the bad guy....and an resolution that will greatly benefit where we are in the adoption process.  Coincidence?   Not a chance!     I still get the chilly bumps when I read Romans 8:28:   "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."   We love Him and have been CALLED to our purpose of orphan care.  No, God didn't make that bad thing happen, but He certainly worked it out for the good, wouldn't you say?

Why is it that I am so surprised when God keeps His promises?   As if He has ever let me down?  NO!  Of course He hasn't!  And He surely isn't gonna stop now! 

FEAR itself is from the enemy.   Why are we such stubborn headed people who simply won't put our pride aside and humbly TRUST and OBEY!  Life truly is SO much better when we lay it down and give it up to Him!    Freedom!    We've received such peace of mind and constant affirmations of the call to adopt Emmajane.  It's truly overwhelming. 

The process itself has been FLYING by!  I can't believe it's almost June already.  Recently, we received a very unexpected update of our little Emmajane.   What a crazy, wonderful surprise!  She's very smart, obedient, and oh-so-sweet.  She's learning Mandarin in her preschool center and appears to be in a foster care environment with an grandmother, grandfather, and other siblings.  We just sent her a gift package in the mail this week and are praying that it will arrive soon in her arms!  

Emmajane showing off what she's learning at school

On the home front, we are officially DTC (Dossier sent to China).   That's a HUGE step which means that we are waiting on the Chinese government to translate the files, review them, and then issue the Letter of Approval..  that gorgeous golden letter can arrive anywhere from 1 month to 6 month from now.  No rhyme or reason, which is the tough part for this Type-A OCD planner.  It may be time to up the medications....shew!  I'm not a patient waiter!!  If we keep on course, we MAY be able to go get our girl in October!   Wouldn't that be wonderful?!?!?!   Oh, please pray!  

All 14 Precious Documents that Made up Our Dossier

I'd like to close out by  sharing a little part of my favorite song these days from Matthew West.   I wanted to think that surely someone else would adopt these kids. I've done my part, we've already adopted one, right?  I kept saying that others would rise, and take on the calling and do something, because, after all..we did!   Surely anyone could!   Then I prayed really, REALLY hard.  I realized that orphan care isn't for everyone..but as Christ followers,it's our calling to DO SOMETHING.   It boils down to this:  if you can't adopt one of the least of these, be a strong supporter instead! 

Not sure why this picture makes me sad.  That baby
girl needs a bath, hairbow, and snuggles from Mama!
I wanna see her SMILE!

"I’m so tired of talking
About how we are God’s hands and feet
But it’s easier to say than to be
Live like angels of apathy who tell ourselves
It’s alright, “somebody else will do something”
Well, I don’t know about you
But I’m sick and tired of life with no desire
I don’t want a flame, I want a fire
I wanna be the one who stands up and says,
“I’m gonna do something”
We are the salt of the earth
We are a city on a hill
But we’re never gonna change the world
By standing still"

So, in the spirit of southern hospitality I say this"  Adoption is this is "Our Thang."   We are called to do it, and we cannot wait for the day Emmajane officially becomes a part of a real family... OUR family....a crazy-not-so-perfect family.   What is "Your Thang"?